Case Study

 

This case study shows the evolution of the 1st draft produced by the 10-step system all the way to the final draft.

The final version isn’t just better written or a better story, it shows a clearer way of thinking, a stronger sense of direction, and a more compelling academic narrative with a clear purpose: a long-term career goal.

 

Below, you’ll see exactly how that transformation happens.

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1. The Opening: Observation vs Direction

 

First Draft (Opening Excerpt)

I keep coming back to this one moment that probably does not matter that much but has been stuck in my head. I was washing dishes and I remember feeling really frustrated. The sink filled up too quickly, there was never enough space to rinse things properly, and I had to keep rearranging plates just to get to the ones at the bottom. It felt like I was doing extra work for no reason, and the more I tried to go faster the more inefficient it felt.
I remember thinking there had to be a better way to do it. Not just like “work faster,” but actually change the process. I started wondering if there is some optimal order to washing dishes that minimizes water use and time, or if the whole setup of a sink just makes it inefficient no matter what you do. I did not come up with an answer, but I kept thinking about it even after I finished.

 

Final Draft (Opening Excerpt)

My goal is to major in mechanical engineering and pursue a career designing household appliances. That goal traces back to a moment when my thinking began to shift, like water finding a new path, gradually redirecting itself toward something more efficient.
I was standing at the sink, sleeves damp against my wrists, plates clattered in cloudy water as I reached for ones buried at the bottom. The sink filled too quickly, water trapped, circling. Why did something so simple feel so inefficient? That question lingered, slowly wearing away at my assumptions. The issue wasn’t how I was washing the dishes; it was the system itself.

 

What Changed

• The first version describes a moment

• The final version establishes a clear goal immediately

• The first starts uncertain (“this might not matter…”)

• The final starts with confidence and direction

• The moment stays small in the first draft

• In the final, it becomes the origin of a larger trajectory

Key Shift:
The essay moves from “here’s something I noticed” → “here’s the beginning of how I think and where I’m going”

 

2. The Core Experience: General Curiosity vs Deep Engagement

 

First Draft (Dishwasher Exploration Excerpt)

After that I started paying more attention to dishwashers instead, because they are basically designed to solve that exact problem. At first I just noticed the obvious things, like how long each cycle takes or which settings we usually use. But then I got more interested in what is actually happening inside. I looked up how water moves through the machine, how the spray arms rotate, and why some dishes come out completely clean while others still have stuff stuck on them.
It is strange how something so normal has so many small design decisions built into it. Like the spacing of the racks, the angles of the spray arms, and how the water pressure is distributed. None of those things seem that important on their own, but together they decide whether the machine works well or not. I started thinking about how many versions of that design probably existed before the one we have now, and how many small changes had to be tested and improved.

 

Final Draft (Dishwasher Exploration Excerpt)

I looked to our dishwasher: the low hum of the cycle, the hiss of pressurized water, how angles and pressure shaped its path, the uneven way droplets clung to dishes. I could feel where grit remained, where the system had failed to reach. I decided to take apart the dishwasher to see how it worked. As I loosened screws, I felt the resistance of tightly fitted parts. Water dripped onto the floor, carrying a faint metallic smell. Holding the spray arm, I studied its small components, imagining how streams of water would pass through them. But as the pieces accumulated around me, so did a realization: I didn’t yet understand the full system well enough to put it back together.

 

What Changed

• The first version explains what the student did

• The final version shows how the student thinks while doing it

• The first is mostly informational

• The final uses specific sensory detail and technical curiosity

• The first says “I looked it up”

• The final shows active investigation and engagement

Key Shift:
The essay moves from reporting actions → demonstrating a way of thinking

 

3. The Setback: Personal Frustration vs Real-World Impact

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First Draft (Setback Excerpt)

At one point I decided I wanted to actually see it for myself instead of just reading about it. I tried to take apart part of our dishwasher to understand how the spray system was connected and why certain areas seemed to get cleaned better than others. I did not really have a plan, which was probably a mistake. I got a few parts off but then I got stuck and could not figure out how to put everything back together the same way. My parents were not very happy about that.
Even though it did not go well, I think that was the first time I realized I was more interested in understanding how something works than just using it. It was not really about fixing the dishwasher or improving it in that moment, it was more about figuring out the system behind it, even if I did not fully succeed.

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Final Draft (Setback Excerpt)

When I struggled to reassemble it, my frustration returned, but this time, it carried beyond me. My parents stood nearby, now faced with a broken dishwasher and a growing pile of dishes. In that moment, inefficiency wasn’t just an abstract flaw; it disrupted daily lives. Like water slowly carving a canyon, small inefficiencies could build into larger impacts over time. I didn’t just want to understand systems, I wanted to improve them in ways that mattered to people.

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What Changed

• The first version focuses on a mistake

• The final version expands that moment into impact beyond the self

• The first ends with “I didn’t succeed”

• The final asks: why does this matter? who does it affect?

Key Shift:
The essay moves from a personal anecdote → a moment with real-world stakes

 

4. The Application: Basic Project vs Intentional Design Thinking

 

First Draft (Engineering Class Project Excerpt)

Later on I took an engineering-related class at school where we looked at everyday appliances and how they are designed. We talked about things like efficiency, cost, durability, and how improving one area can make another worse. That part surprised me because I used to think of design as just making something better overall, but it is more about making choices and accepting tradeoffs.
For one project in that class, we had to redesign a simple household process to make it more efficient. I ended up going back to the dishwashing idea and focused on how water flows over dishes and how their placement affects cleaning. I sketched out a different rack layout and a slightly different spray pattern that would reach more surface area. It was not anything advanced, but when we tested a basic version of the idea with a model setup, it actually worked better than what I expected. The water covered more of the dishes, and there were fewer spots left over.

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Final Draft (Engineering Class Project Excerpt)

I developed that curiosity in an engineering class focused on everyday appliances. For a major project, I returned to the dishwashing problem and focused on how water flow and dish placement affect cleaning. I visualized streams moving through the system, adjusting angles and spacing to improve coverage. I redesigned the rack layout and modified the spray pattern to distribute water evenly. I watched the streams arc across the setup in consistent paths. The ideas I had been developing were coming together into something that worked.

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What Changed

• The first version describes what was built

• The final version explains how and why decisions were made

• The first shows effort

• The final shows understanding of systems and tradeoffs

Key Shift:
The essay moves from “I made something that worked” → “I understand how systems are designed and improved”

 

5. The Conclusion: General Interest vs Specific Future Path

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First Draft (Conclusion Excerpt)

That moment stood out to me because it was the first time something I thought about actually turned into something that worked, even in a small way. It made me realize that those small frustrations and questions could lead to real improvements if I had the right approach and tools.
That is a big reason why I want to become an engineer and why I plan to major in engineering in college. I want to learn how to take these kinds of observations and actually turn them into designs that work, instead of just thinking about them. That small success in class showed me that I am not just interested in these ideas, I want to keep building on them and go deeper. I am excited by the idea of having more advanced tools, more complex problems, and more opportunities to test and improve my ideas in college, and to see how far I can take something that started with a sink full of dishes.

 

Final Draft (Conclusion Excerpt)

I learned that improving a system involves balancing tradeoffs between efficiency, cost, and complexity. Some were stronger but less efficient; others were streamlined but less reliable. Engineering does not move freely, it is shaped by constraints, forced to find the most effective path. Instead of searching for perfection, I focused on shaping a system toward better performance. That experience shaped the direction I want to pursue.
Mechanical engineering interests me because it focuses on how systems function and improvement through design. I could see myself working at a company like Whirlpool, refining everyday appliances through testing and iteration. My earlier experiences showed me how even small inefficiencies can ripple outward, affecting not just outcomes, but people’s daily lives.
In college, I hope to build a strong foundation in physics, math, and design so I can can apply that understanding in my career. I am particularly interested in fluid mechanics, because it directly relates to the questions that first drew me in. I want to understand how forces shape the movement of water through a system, so I can design solutions with intention rather than just trial and error.
Looking back, what began as frustration at a sink has developed into a broader way of thinking. I now see inefficiencies as opportunities, not obstacles, but starting points. My curiosity has become more purposeful, shaped by what I have learned and where I want to go. Engineering gives me a way to direct that flow into something practical, and I want to keep building on it, one system at a time.

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What Changed

• The first version states a general interest in engineering

• The final version defines a specific field, direction, and application

• The first looks forward vaguely

• The final connects:

  • past experience

  • present interests

  • future goals

Key Shift:
The essay moves from “I want to study engineering” → “here’s exactly what I want to do and why”

 

What This Transformation Shows

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It’s the result of a structured process that helps you:

• Develop your ideas beyond the surface

• Connect moments into a clear narrative

• Show how you think, not just what you did

• Build toward a specific academic and career direction

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This Is What the 10-Step Process Does

It takes a draft that:

• has a good starting point

• but feels incomplete or unfocused

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And turns it into one that:

• communicates a clear way of thinking

• shows depth and direction

• and stands out in a competitive pool

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Want to Do This With Your Own Story?

Get the full step-by-step process that leads to this kind of result: